wtf Phee I don't wana walk anymore

Gois I plopped down in stweet yestewday and I wuz liek do your worst phee! Hehehe! The Erf shook gois because Dashie 1000 pounds of real muscle! It wuz liek Phee I'm not going anywere especially wif yew to were the othar minion doggies are. Then phee pick Dashie up gois! It's liek wtf phee wen Dashie plop down he stay there until he choose new direction to walk minion phee in but gois phee used same unexplaination powers he did before to lift dashie up its liek phee how yew do that i wont bit yew if yew tell me. Nobody can pick Dashie up becuz he mean and full of muscle even stwongest doggies liek mawgwet and pwetty boy wouldnt be able tooo gois did i also mention that phee might be keeping me fwom my dady? If so dashie gonna cweate plot to bit phees neck during sweep. It's liek phees door opens and phee hear faint clacking of paws on wood floor. Then Phee look over and see Dashie standing ovar him. It's liek hoi dashie yew scared me! I'll get up so yew can sleep here and ill go sleep in cage. Then its liek im sowwy phee but i hav to do dis I mean dashie was finking of doing it long time ago evar since yew first showed signs of not being good minion but keeping me fwom dady final straw for dashie. Phees liek noo dashie im sowwy i wont keep yew fwom dady anymore and its liek too late phee! Gnarrr! Then dashie perform bit on phees neck and juguwar shoot bwood everyware. It's liek Phee I warned yew but yew didnt wisten to dashie! Then phee die on gwoung and dashie run up to dady and dady liek its okay now dashie the minion was in our way but now hes gone and we can just cuddle all day! Hehehehehe! But then again gois phee is dashies vasal and he walk dashie so dashie might not kill phee just yet but if he get between me and dady its gonna happen gois!

Ohhh gois Dashie wif his tois

Hoi gois! Right now Dashie laying next to possum its liek ohhhhh possum yew liek a less warm version of phee. Ohhh gois right now Dashie miss dady its liek ohhhh dashie so depwessed what did yew do wif dady phee? if i find out yew cause dady to disapear dashie gona bit yew. ohhh dashie also get no slice meat at noit phee doesnt get up wif his door closed. mafee always hav door closed heheheh wut a phag and moma wont get up gois! ohhh dady come home!

Gnarrr I bite Maphee!!!

Ohhh gois todai Dashie wuz outside and i wuz owning neberhood its liek careful gois theres a Dashie in the vicinity any won out thar gona get bit if yew try to mess wif dahsie hehehehehehe! then maphee come over gois and hes liek dashie im here to chalenge yew dominance! of course dashie cant stand for such an injustice gois its liek no maphee dashie has well established packleadership over yew. i can proove it just ask phee wif all the bit marks he has hehehehe! maphee then go to pick dashie up anyway! can yew beleeve it gois? well dashie can becuz maphee is big dumb wetard liek phee who need to be put in his place so its liek gnarrrr!!!! then dashie teef meet maphees skin and sink in and take finger off its liek num num num maphee im eating yew liek velosiraptar heheheheh! dashie fought for sure gois that maphees finger fuly in his mowf and seperated fwom hand but maphees finger still there gois. its liek awwww as long as yew still hav fingers yew can still try to pick dashie up so dashie need to do better next time! maphee started bweeding everywhere gois and phee start yelling at dashie its liek phee shut up faget or youll be just liek maphee fingerless hehehe!

ohhhh gois phee and maphee frow dashie in tub. its liek this is punishment? heheheheh! That feels good fu gois! ohhh but then they put dashie in cage and its liek noooooo!!! it wuz liek dachau gois but i no hitlar and we vewy similar so he wouldn't do that to dashie phee on the otherhand. is there a wors person in world than phee gois? dashie dont fink so. dashie just hope this doesnt affect cuddling wif dady tonight gois. if it does im gona bite phees artery in his sweep and he die and its liek see dady i remove source of tension betwene us lets cuddle again!

WTF Phee! Stay outside with Dashie!

Gois, phee never stay out wif Dashie. First its liek ohhhh phee yew going outside wif dashie ohhh dats good but its realy more liek phee get out here or ill bite yew hehehe! then royal subject phee come outside and dashie sit on phees lap liek ohhh phee skwatch dashie back and remove dashie fur. it get in phees mouth and eyes gois heehe dashie laff when dat happen becuz its liek 'how does servitude feel minion?' hehehehhe! then phee get up to go in and its liek no phee! yew cant go inside becuz dashie no give yew permission to and phee liek okay dashie but then he sneek thwew door and its liek wtf phee dammit dashie still out here and as long as dashie out here he demand a phee or someone just as warm and blubbery to sit on. Then its liek gois phee went inside me gona go bark at people now until phee come out and then me bite his hand liek hehehehehe AMBUSH! hehehehe!

Hoi gois. Dashie back!

Hoi gois! Dashie back! Hehehehehe!

I'm cuddling phee right now gois! I haven't been latwey because I procwaim dominance over evryone in household hehehehehe. Its liek phee go get me a chichen tweet and phee is liek no dashie i dont wana. but then dashie liek phee i swear to god if yew dont get dashie chichen tweet im gonna bite yew neck and there gonna be blood everyware gois then phee like okay sowwy dashie i would never go aganst yew hehehe minion!!!

ohhh gois phee is so warm right now. its liek ohhh phee i luv yew leg its so warm and yer blubber keeps me purfect tempertare. hehehehhe. ohhh gois dashie feel guilty about what he before. daddie was like dashie come in and dashie didn't want to come in. i was liek no daddie! i had to bark and eveweone in the neberhood to show how dominant and tuff dashie is and to scare away kyotes so that minions phee and momma wouldnt get eaten and dashie wuld have to go to slave market and buy more minions. its liek dont eat my property kyote ill bite yew neck. but then daddie pick dashie up and its liek no daddie im gonna bite yew! i wuv daddie but dashie gota show daddie correct packleader order. first i wuz liek daddie im pack leader so i pick yew up not othar way around okey but daddie ignore and gwab dashie. dashie go gnnarrrr! and bite daddy causing instant deth but daddie somehow survive if it wuz phee or momma on othar hand i wuld need new minions and they wuld both be ded hehehehehe.

after dashie liek ohhhh sowwy daddie i dont know what got into me but then dashie start poring water on dashie. dashie liek nooooooooo daddie why? then daddie yell at dashie and dashie go on downlow liek heheheheh daddie im challenging yew dominance. then dashie liek ohhhh i wuv daddie and if i wana cuddle him tonite dashie should only pwetend that im not pack leader to make daddie happy. but dashie weely packleader gois dashie swear. ohhhh gois dady lock door last noit so dashie couldnt get in but dashie got in gois hehehehe becuz door opened slightly so dashie jump in and cuddle dady. its liek ohhhh dady i wuv yew yew so warm. then dashie start dweaming about slice meat and chichen tweets hehehehehe.

gois phee is such a minion it makes dashie sick. he never have mind of his own. without dashie i dont know what wuld happen to retard phee gois. he wuld prolly get eaten by kyote that pack leader dashie keeps away gois. Hehehehehe!