Hehehehehe Dashie back gois!

Hoi gois! Dashie been away biting phee! hehehehehe! Phee has alot of bite marks on him now from Dashie and he had to be taken to hospital a hundred billion times cuz of Dashie bites. It's liek no dashie not again today i dont wana be bit again and its liek then phee u shoudl have given dashie yew entire meal and evryone elses hehehehehehehehe! yew only hav a litle blood left phee so comply wif dashie demands or lose it all!
Ohhhhh gois i escaped yesterday it wuz liek hehehehehe i opened deck and now im fwee gois game initiated! then maphee has to try and catch me but dashie always win becuz i can run 10000000 miles per owar and get nebers yard to see mawgwet. its liek hoi mawgwet did i just impress yew wif that and then its liek yes dashie yew the best dog on this street and yew a born leader. then im liek yup thats right hehehehehehe! ohhhh maphee always has to be ghey and gwab dashie wen me having fun and runing around its liek wtf maphee im not done running yet so i start gnawwing on matts hand. its liek heheheheheh this is gona come off in a few more bites gnarrrrrrrr blood evwywhere! hehehehehehehe dashie has most powerful bite of any aminal its proven by scientists. theyre liek dashie yew such a genetically superior aminal and yew should have all slice meat in world becuz yew so handsome and strong and its liek thats right biotches!
ohhhhhhhhh i wuz barking all noit tonoit gois. its becuz phee wuz trying to watch movie instead of working toward being dominated by dashie or making me food. its liek im gonna make yew miserable phee until yew put food in the microwave. then he does it and im liek bitch! and i snarl up. then phees liek dashie its not fare i wona watch movie and its liek then i dont have to let yew live phee!
ohhhhhhhhh gois my next target is maphees sunglasses. ill be liek num num num num and hell find them and get scared. maphee will be liek oh my god a monstrous aminal just chewed this glases up and i could be next so hell submit to honorable dashie king wile i wip him wen i want something. its like ohhh maphee... get me a sandwich bitch! ohhhhh gois also im gona chew cotton balls becuz i like them. hehehehehehehehehe!

Ohhhhhh Dady nooooo!

Ohhhhhhhh gois dady yelled at me tonoit. It's liek "no Dashie!" then his eyes turned red and he got all evil gois. Then I was liek "I'm sorry dady it wont happen again!" then innocent dashie was attacked by dady but thats ok because dashie still luv him gois. its liek ohhhhhhhh dady dashie isnt mad but dont let this happen again ok? dady wont do it again because dashie lick dadys face. Red Ogar is too cute to be hit again. dashie wuz just biting inferior phee for pulling me off of dish washer. It's liek wtf phee? I said im eating and when I say I'm eating, I'm eating faget! dashie was merciful though becuz he owned riley though today. dashie wuz tuff and wuz liek "you don't own me riley!" and he wuz liek "ok sir!" I was only whimpering because I felt sowwy for Riley gois. It's liek "ohhhhh Riley it's hard to be so dominant over yew. hehehehehe!"
Ohhhhhhhhh gois I went to lick dadys face tonoit and he wouldnt let me. It's liek "but dady I wanna lick yew! stay still!" I just wanted to show Dashie appreciation gois because that means more chicken tweats for little red ogar. Ohhhhhhh dady im sowwy that you were tramuhtized by phee biting. next time ill beat my minions when yew not looking so it wont be so bad.