Hehehehehe Dashie origins!

Hoi gois! Dashie here hehehehehe! Yew know Dashie gois fwom posts but yew dont know how dashie started. im gona tell yew gois! it has something to do wif why Dashie wuz biting palm from church and why I wanna bite phee so much. This wuz long time ago so dont juge dashie for past. me just as mean now tho gois so just teling yew that yew should still be afwaid of the big mean ogre that barks at yew from window. wen im in window i liek to preetend dashie 20 ft tall and about to pounce on unsuspecting dashie victim. hehehehehe! yew dashie food!

first dashie wuz born on somtime in May, 20,000 BC hehehehehe! it wuz somthing liek that gois im not sure but anyways thats not important. but sometime dashie wuld get cold at noit and dashie didnt hav mother. instead there wuz this goi wif horns and he wuz red hehehehe wut a dum dum. the goi had low voice and tryd to order dashie around wen he wuz pupy. i remember first comand he gave to dashie wich wuz "go and torture adolf hitler." i wuz liek "no! dashie choos to torture hitler if he wana but dashie dont wana yew big dum red faget!"

ohhhhhhhh goi wuznt hapy gois and he tryd to spank dashie but i turned into ultra satanic face and threw some lava that wuz next to me into his face. this wuz first time the big red goi got angwy gois. then it came comon ocurence. gois me and hitler became frends and were liek "hehehehehe lets kill evryone" but im liek "ur dead dumy dashie will thwo lava at yew if yew say something liek that again k?" hes liek "ok dashie." gois then one dai the unfinkable hapened. red goi thwew hitlar into fiery lava pit wen i wuz trying to tawk to him and dashie liek "wtf red goi i wuz trying to tawk to hitlar!" red goi look lava spray bottle and sprayed dashie wif it so i wen up to his chair and put dashie teef on it pretending to bite it.

red goi wuz liek "dashie... if yew bite that im gona thro yew into chamber of fier for a week even tho ur my greatest asset." sowwy but dashie couldnt help it and he bit into chair gois. then red goi grabed one of dashies back legs and dashie morph into ultra satan face and bite red gois neck. red goi scream in pain and wuz liek "thats it dashie, im gona kill yew now." then dashie run out of red gois arms and wuz juking liek "hehehehe cant catch me kweer!" gois red goi couldnt catch me and dashie run away. then suddenly, dashie shot out of volcano onto earth. ohhhh gois i wuz liek "nooooo!!! its cold here" but wuz liek "oh well ur done for humens!"

ohhh gois this famly found me walking on side of rode. dashie wuz liek "dont pick me up wtf!" but they brought me home. but gois they wouldnt let me go on bed so dashie wuz cold and liek "thats it" so dashie burn house down and run away. dashie probably killed over 500 famlys so far but no probwem becuz dashie not planning to kill this one. i wuv dady too much! hehehehehe! ohhh gois red goi got owned hehehehehe! happy Eester gois!